Huxley Hendrik Bouwes van Nood-Born January 24, 2008
At 4:47 yesterday afternoon, Genevieve gave one final amazing push and Hunxley, all 10 pounds, 6 ounces, floated into my arms. Our great friend Polly and our midwife Susan helped make sure that the purple little guy came up out of the water and straight into overjoyed, and exhausted arms. So started the outside life of our second little one. What is written below is the birth of Huxley from my perspective (Rob) and while I will try to give you some idea what Gen was going through, I will leave it up to her to tell the "real" story of the birth. I was just a happy and very lucky secondary (actually "thirdary") participant.
As many of you heard Gen started having contractions 2 days earlier but things slowed down and we had to be on hold, wondering when he was going to make his actual moves down into the birth canal. At Midnight on the night of the 24th Genevieve's contractions started up again and she had a sense that this was it. I got up and filled the birthing tub again (I had filled it and emptied it the day before) so it would be all ready when it was needed. Polly came over a few hours later and crashed out on our couch, suggesting that we try to get some sleep if we could. Of course we follow everything that Polly says, so we climbed back under the sheets and were able to get a few more on-again/off-again hours of sleep.
"I want a bagel sandwich," said Gen as she woke up around 7:30 when her contractions started getting stronger. After getting a few bites to eat we headed out for a walk. The weather in Portland has been cold, but sunny. (A great break in the weather that was timed perfectly for the birth.) We haven't had 5 day stretches of sun for months so it is a real treat to get out and walk with the sun in our eyes. Polly went home and asked us to call her when things seemed to moving to the next stage.
The relaxed nature of being at home and knowing that we weren't going to rush off to the hospital dramatically changed the experience for us. For Violet's birth much of the hard labor was done in the confines of our little hospital room, with the only "change" in "scenery" being the changing ways of pushing (on the exercise ball, leaning against me, in the tiny hospital bath tub, laying on the bed). At home, much of Gen's laboring was actually done while walking the streets and park of our neighborhood. In the morning we walked for over an hour, with Gen's contractions coming on every few minutes and lasting for 45 seconds to a minute. The cold air felt good for both of us and Gen noticed that the briskness of the wind gave an alternative sensation to the ever increasing contractions she was feeling inside her body.
Upon returning from the walk Polly came back to our house and was there with us until a few hours after Huxley was born. While Gen was experiencing some toe-curling pain, she was able to really stay focused and calm, which was very inspiring. She just stayed with the experience and didn't think too much about "what was to come".
Eventually we decided to head back out into the sun and the cold wind for another walk around the block. This time, upon returning, Susan and her assistant Jess arrived and began to set up for the duration. Having basically spent the last 15 hours awake (it was now 3:00 pm) and staying focused through countless contractions Gen was starting to tire and Polly suggested that she lay down, maybe try to get some rest. If we were going to follow the a similar path to Violet we could be up for another 12 hours. Gen wasn't feeling comfortable with the idea of laying down. She thought it might make her feel trapped. Instead we decided to climb into the shower, put on some Gillian Welch and enjoy the warm water. It also allowed us to be close and really connect. We were able to just look at each other, and when the very strong contractions came on Gen was able to ride them with my support. It was a touching 30 minutes for me. (30 minutes? you may ask? That must be one large hot water tank. We have the good fortune of having an on-demand hot water heater, so we didn't have to worry about running a tank out).
Gen really went through all the pain with unbelievable strength. While the look on her face was often of shear agony, fear rarely seemed to creep in. I was moved by her commitment to really see this whole process through, and do it at home.
After the shower Polly again suggested the bed and Susan suggested the water. Really wanting the water as a place to go if other things weren't working, we made our way to the bed. Polly sat behind her and massaged her back while I sat next to her, held her hand and looked into her eyes during the most painful work yet. She began to really use her voice too. Susan and Jess were in Huxley's room, preparing the tub (as it was too hot to get into at the time), and making sure the room was ready for delivery. Occasionally Susan would peek her head in to see how things were progressing. "Great sounds Gen, keep it up," she would say encouragingly.
After a good 20 minutes Gen said that she was starting to shake. "That internal nervous kind." "Sounds like transition," said Susan. "Sounds like transition," said Polly. To hear that was like seeing the clouds open up and the sun shinning through. Looking back at "the transition" 2.25 years ago when Violet was born Gen was in a very different place. She was completely exhausted both physically and emotionally. She had desperately asked about drugs and really felt like she couldn't go on. (Although she didn't get any drugs and obviously, she did go on...)
Sitting next to her in our bedroom this time she was a different person. Her face exuded a level of calmness and confidence that didn't say "we are at the transition". (I won't pretend to understand what it feels like, but for those who don't know what "the transition" is, it is the stage just before a woman can begin to push. It is the time just before the cervix is dilated to 10 cm and also the time that can be the toughest both physically and emotionally.) Neither of us could really believe it. Gen was ready to push and it was only 4:15 pm. It was still light out! The possibility that Huxley would be out with us soon was a little unbelievable.
At 4:15 Gen got into the tub and I soon followed. Susan checked his heart beat (as she did every few minutes until he was born) and said he sounded good. Surrounded by the soft light and encouraging voices of Polly, Susan and Jess, Gen began the painful last push of the delivery. Being across from her in the tub was a moving and surreal experience. In the hospital Gen was on her back on a bed, with the attending nurse giving her "instructions" and encouragement, but here in the tub Gen really had control over how to push and when. She was able to reach down and feel the top of Huxley's head to get a sense of where he was and how much more she had to do. With powerful screams and intense pushing she was able to have him crowning in about 20 minutes (as opposed to hours with Violet). At that point I was able to reach down and touch the top of his head. It felt hard and smooth, with no hair. I hadn't realized that what I was feeling and seeing wasn't really his head. It was his head through the bag of water. With a bit of surprise I watched the water break and his actual head come out. With a few more pushes Gen was able to get his entire head out. There he was, his head facing the bottom of the tub and his very black hair swaying in the water. With several more mighty pushes Gen freed him from his warm home of 9 months and he came sailing through the water into my hands.
I grabbed him under his armpits and with the help of Polly and Susan helped put him into Gen's arms. What a sight. He was very gray/purple and Polly and Susan began to message his arms, back and legs. This scared me. He wasn't really making much noise, he wasn't crying and he seemed listless. Gen voiced my fear. "Is he ok?" Having gone from Susan being pretty hands-off to her jumping in and working to get air moving around his body was concerning. Thoughts of having to perform mouth to mouth or racing him to the hospital came flooding into my head. "We just need to get oxygen flowing," both Polly and Susan remarked as they continued to message his body and shake him a little. Susan also got out some oxygen and put the mask to his face. Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity, his hands, arms and body started to get pink, a sign that oxygen was flowing in his body. However, his face was still gray, which Polly told us was bruising from the quick exit he experienced from the birth canal.
Here he was. This little guy we have been wondering about for 282 days was there in the water with us. After he was more aware, there was still the placenta to get out and the cord to cut. Finally, were able to get out of the water, get under the covers and just get to know our little son. What a little gem. "Any guesses how much he weighs?" ask Susan, as she lifted him up with a scale. "Nine and a half pounds?" I responded. "10 pounds, 6 ounces!" Wow.
Gen's father Nick arrived, followed by Gen's mom Joan, my mom Betty and little Violet, who was excited to see her brother after so many months of stories and expectations. With a wonderful addition our family. We are so very fortunate to have a healthy and pretty mellow son. We will share his growth, and the continuing adventures of Violet, in the weeks and months to come.
Much love,
Rob, Genevieve, Violet and Huxley (and Hank and Stanley too)
P.S. I (Genevieve) thought I would throw in a word or two. It hurt. A lot. I resented the pain, feared the process and couldn't wait to be done (couldn't believe that it would ever be done). It is amazing that we humans all enter the world through our mother. Who are these women?! (Why you probably all know at least one or two) On the other hand it is a truly empowering, beautiful and spiritual journey that is an honor to experience and has changed me and my life in more than 2 ways. Oh, and I am in love again. Huxley is delicious.
posted by Rob at 1:59 PM
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